How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
