I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
