tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
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