Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize