Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I still have a little drunk in my system
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize
