WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
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