If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
