I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
