Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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