What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Randomize
