I smell stomach acid.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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