Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
