I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Randomize
