wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Randomize
