literally had 100 drinks last night.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
