Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
