is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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