I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
