He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
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