I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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