I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
