U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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