It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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