just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
