She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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