Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
COCAINE IS GR8
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
