just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
