Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
