How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
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