I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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