DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Randomize
