I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
