Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
