after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
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