She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
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