Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
