I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
ugly people sure do ruin things
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
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