How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
