Already got asked if we're dating
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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