Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
