More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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