Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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