I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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