we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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