hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
