You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
