Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(207): View more from Maine

she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race

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(913): View more from Kansas

Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'

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(573): View more from Missouri

So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"

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(760): View more from California

Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

oh god was she eating orange peels again

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(217): View more from Illinois

Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty

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(281): View more from Texas

I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

Also, I found your gauge.

(570): View more from Pennsylvania

I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.

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