So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
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Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
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multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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