I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
you didnt know i had herpes?
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
