she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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