In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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