I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
