You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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