so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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