we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
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