I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
