The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Randomize
