Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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