Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
you inspire me to be a worse person
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
