So drunk, too bad you don't want this
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Randomize
