I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Never underestimate the power of titties
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