just tell him i said nine months
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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