if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Randomize