You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
