Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
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