I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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